When will it all end?
by Shu-chan-the-lost-soul
Summary: Why does Shuichi feel so sad? When Yuki gets back from New York something's changed for both Yuki and Shuichi. Shuichi still 'LOVES' Yuki but, he cant be happy for some reson? well this is all about Shuichi and Yuki and maybe a lil of a suprize ending.
1. Chap 1 Why?

**Notes**

**Hello everyone well this is my frist fan fiction story. and its just something im ganna try. this is after Yuki gets back from New York and well you'll just have to read it and see what happens. if there is any wrong info/spelling plz tell me and i'll get right on it. Plz if you'd be so kind as to revife this and give me any idea's then i can make this the best fan fiction that it can be.**

**Capter 1**

**When will it all end?**

**As Shuichi wached his lover sleep he started to think_"Its been 3 month's since Yuki's come home and he's still not quite himself...Why does it seem like he's hideing something?"_Yuki flutterd his eyes a littel and Shuichi got starteld. _"is he asleep or is he trying to get me started?"_ Shuichi leand to his lovers face and just as he thought Yuki opend his eyes and said "You know you are a real perv." Shuichi got all flusterd that he fell off the bed and Yuki just wached him and then said "You know ever since i got back you'v been all over me. why am i not suprized?" "Well you have been colder then normal. did something happen in New York?" Yuki just turen and said "im going to work on my Novel now." As Yuki was walking out he thought to him self _"Am i really that much colder? well its none of his bussnies anyways"_**

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**As Yuki started to typ he was for some reson really cold. _"Why in the hell do i get like this when ever that lil brat opens his mouth?"_ As Yuki was lost in thought he did'et relize he was typing Shuichi's name on the com. "DAMN!!" he was so cought up in thought he also did'et hear the door opening "Seems you are haveing writes block Eari-san." Yuki did'et even glance at Tohma "What do you wont Tohma?" "Oh! nothing." He smiled so kindly to Yuki."Just thought i'd stop by to check on you. I mean you did have a hard time when you came back from New York." Yuki Started to get anoyed. "Tohma if you dont mined i have to finish this befor tommarow...So...LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"Tohma just smiled amd said as he was about to leave "You know Shindo-san has been veay worried and well just thought you'd like to know." Tohma left befor Yuki could bitch at him. _"maybe i should try to make it up to that littel brat."_**

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**"OK PEOPLE LISEN UP!" K was talking about the gig that they were ganna be doing next week when Hiro saw that Shuichi was sulking."Hey! whats wrong Shu?" Shuichi just sighed and said "Yuki hates me. what eals is new?" Hiro just smiled and said "You know you two are like an old coupel." Shuichi was not laughing. "Oh! what do you know about me and that man. Anyways its not like i did'et see this comeing when he got back." K was still talking and relizes no one was lisening. So as K being the crazy american that he was he started to shot wildly in to the air. As soon as he got everyone attion he smiled and said "So as i was saying Tohma made a gig with Shuichi and Ryuichi haveing a touet at the end of the show. But, the show will be all Bad Luck." when the meeting was done Hiro said "Hey! Shuichi need a ride?" Shuichi just stode there and said "No thanks Hiro. I think im ganna take a walk" Hiro just smiled and left Suichi.**

**Shuichi Shindo was like any other boy. He had friends, he was cute, and he had bad grades. But somthing changed when he went to that park that night. Shuichi was haveing troubel finishing his love song. he would often go on walks to clear his mined. Sadly that night just was not his night. He almost lost his lyrics but found something much more valubel. That night he fell in love with the one person who could make him write a millon love songs. Eari Yuki. As Eari picked up thoes Love lyric's Shuichi was dazzeld by the man. He could'et think of anything but that man. Eari Yuki said in a cold blunt way "Your love song is crap and you'll never become famous with this bull shit." and he walked away with not just a cold face but with Shuichi's heart to.**

**When Shuichi finaly relized where he was he thought about Yuki. _"Why does it seem like he does not love me? I know that he does but...i wish i could hear it. well he does have his resons."_ Eari Yuki had a teoubeld pass. He was Raped by the one man he loved and ever since then he's held his heart back. Shuichi knew this because Yuki told him "Yeah. i killed that man and i loved him." Shuichi wished that Yuki would be hounest but, he knew Yuki was never ganna be able to do that. _"well as long as i know he loves me thats all that matters to me." _Shichi did'et know it at the time but he was being wached and not by Tohma but by someone who was out to get him.**

**----**

**Yuki heard the door open and knew it was Shuichi. "Hows the novel going Yuki?" Yuki just Shrugged and said "Are you here to talk and anyon or did you wont something." Shuichi was hurt by thoes cold word but just smiled and said "No just thought you'd like some compeny." Yuki waved him to sit down on the leather couch. As Shuichi sat he had found memmories of the two laying here after he had had a long day and he was hrony. Shuichi smothed his hand over the black leather and thought _"how many giorls befor me have had the plasure of being in this room with Yuki." _Shuichi was lost in thought when he relized that Yuki was right in front of his face. Shuichi was starteld and said in a weak voice. "Yuki?...what...ummmm..." Yuki did'et take a secont and started to remove Shuichi's cloes. Shuichi was happy but, could not get over the fackt that he was not speacil to this room and couch. Yuki was almost totaly undressed when he finaly noticed that Shuichi was not even thrilled. He sat up and said in the most blunt way possibel "You are such a brat." Shuichi was so off gaurd that he did'et even have time to grab his cloes befor Yuki tossed him into the liveing room. _"DAMN! i was so horny to." _Yuki was so mad that he did'et hear the faint cry's from his lover. _"Why cant i ever be happy? Yuki is everthing to me but i just feel pain now."_**

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**Well what did chu all think? I thought it was quite good (but i wrote it) anyways plz tell me what chu think and ANY idea's plz tell me cuz im just winging it all.**

**Aouther: Shu-chan the lost soul**


	2. Chap 2 Break

Notes:

ok. well i started this story with some back up info so chu all would know whats going on. so in this chapter im ganna make a some people mad but, hey chu know chu wont it well anyways hope chu enjoy and comment if chu plz .

Chapter 2

When will it all end?

By the time Yuki was done with his new novel it was already 3 in the morning. He sat in his chari and looked at his hard work. he did'et really care what people thought of this one because _"I wrote and they will like it."_ He finaly got out of his study and went right to the bedroom. What he did'et saw was Shuichi was still awake. Shuichi had been awake for the past 3 months. _"He's finalt done. maybe i am secont to his damn computer. im always secont to every thing of his." _Yuki ploped on the bed and moand "Uggg!!! my eyes they burn so bad. maybe i should stop doing all nighters?" Shuichi just layed there and Yuki looked up and saw he was crying? "Shuichi what are crying about now?" Shuichi did'et even noticed he was crying. "Oh! i dont know. iv been thinking alot and well..." Shuichi trail of thought got the better of him as he was talking. _"maybe...maybe i should leave Yuki and maybe..."_ Yuki grabed Shuichi and enbrassed him. Shuichi did'et know if to cry or luagh. "Shuichi im sorry." Shuichi's eyes became wide. "Yuki why are you sorry?" Yuki just held him and said "I can't see you any more."

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Shuichi was at a lost for words. _"Yuki? How could he? i mean yeah i was just about to say that but Yuki? something's not right." _Shuichi felt the enbrass loesn and then "I can't handel the stress any more. I'm moveing back to New York and never comeing back." Shuichi pushed him away. _"did i just hear what i thought i heard? Yuki's going to leave me and go to New York?" _Shuichi saw the look of pain on Yuki and he knew something was not right. "Yuki? What do you mean?" Yuki put on his best 'Im pissed off' face and said "YOU HEARD ME! IM NOT IM LOVE WITH YOU AND NEVER WAS. I UESD YOU AND YOU JUST SAT HERE AND LET ME!" Shuichi was about to cry when something snaped. "OH YEAH. WELL YOU DESERVED TO BE RAPED BY THAT MAN!" Shuici was so mad he ran out of the apartmeant and he did'et see the tear's falling from Yuki's pale face.

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Yuki was off gared when Tohma came in the house later in the day. "Eari-san i have some bad news" Yuki did'et get scared when Tohma was bring bad news any more and said "Yes and what is 'The bad news'?" Tohma had a momment befor he said "Eari-san...Kitasawa is not dead." Yuki almost feel to the floor "What did you just say?" His eyes were filled with tarror. Tohma huged Yuki and held him veay tight. "Eari he was he had a twin. His twin locked him up and he raped you. not Kitasawa." Yuki could feel the tear's comeing but, held it in "Tohma is this some sick jock?" And he pushed Tohma away and almost had Tohma hit the wall. "No Eari. Kitasawa is alive and has come back to see you." Yuki could almost not see stright because of the anger and sadness in him. "Tohma?" Tohma looked and saw that Yuki was about to have a nearves break down. "Tohma i wont you to promise me not to tell Shuichi." Tohma was about to say something and Yuki yelled "PROMISE ME!!!!!" Tohma could see Yuki was happy and sad at the same time. All Tohma could do was hold Yuki. And they sat there for the rest of the day.

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Shuichi just ran. He ran and ran till he could not feel his legs. When he finaly had stop and looked he noticed he was at NG. He walked in and heard a voice. One of wich he knew well. Ryuichi Sakuma was in a studoio sing a song that Shuichi never heard. As he lisend he remmaberd the day that Ryuichi sang with him. By the time he was done remanissing Ryuichi was right next to him and said "Why are were you crying Shu-chan?" Shuichi just started to cry agian and huged Ryuichi. Ryuichi did'et know what was wrong but he would not stand by and let the man he loved be in pain.

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Ryuichi Sakuma was and is the lead singer of the legandary J-pop band Nittle Grasper. He had a life of fun to his fans but, they did'et know the real Ryuichi Sakuma. He had a bad pass. He lived in Japan and for most of his life it was good. Then he got famoues. As soon as the money came in and he was being wached 24/7 his personality changed to...

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Shuichi was happy that he ran into Ryuichi. He needed someone to talk to and Hiro was out of town seeing Aiyka. "What happen Shu-chan?" Ryuichi was makeing some tea when Shuichi relized that he was being spoken to he said "I dont know. He just said 'I cant be with you any more and im moveing back to New York.' Then he said 'I was just uesing you and you just sat here and let me.' Why did'et i see this?" Ryuichi was not as blined as Shuichi was right now. Ryuichi knew what was happening but, he could'et "Tell" his friend anything. Tohma told Ryuichi earlyer that day what had happen and Ryuichi was told not to tell anyone. So Ryuichi did as he was told. As Shuichi was crying Ryuichi just huged his friend and thought _"i can't sit by and wahc Shuichi become me. i'm ganna have to save him and just be happy for him"_

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So what did chu think of this one? well i hope chu all are not going to kill me ; . dont worrie! Yuki and Shuichi will get back togather...or not giggles well comment me and we'll see what happens next

Aouther:Shu-chan the lost soul


	3. Chapter 3 missing and found

Note:

Ok peolpe im so sorry if you could not get what was what in this chapter but i read your comments and i made it if its italic and unde lined its a song and if its just itilic its them thinking. any ways im really sorry for the troubel i made and hope you can forgive me.

Chapter 3

When will it end?

As Yuki was packing to leave to New York the door bell ringed. Yuki being as mad and sad as he was just yelled "COME IN!' and Yuki was not being careful when he did this. Who was standing in the door way of his bed room? Well..."Hello Eari-chan. It's been a life time huh?" Yuki frozed in his place. The person came up from behimd him and enbraessed him in a warm almost longing why. "Kitsawa?" Yuki started to cry when the man he loved and thought dead turned him around and said "Eari. you have gotten so big. It's funny how this man in frount of me ues to be a littel thing that clinged to me." Kitasawa smiled and Yuki huged him for the first time in 6 years. "KITASAWA!!! WHY NOW? WHY DID'ET YOU TRY TO FINED ME SOON?" Kitasawa just held the younger man and they held each other for hours.

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Mean while Shuichi was staring in to nothing at Ryuichi's place when he saw Kumagoro was behind him. "Shu-chan whats wrong?" said the littel pink bunny. Shuichi smiled faintly and said "Kumagoro what would you do with out Ryuichi?" The littel bunny coverd his ear's and said "Shu-chan why would you ask that? Ryu-chan would never leave me and if he did i'd die with out him." Shuichi was glad that Ryuichi still had his seance of humor. Ryuichi poped out from behind the couch and said in a serious voice "You do know that it may be the end of this road but you still have many more to go." Shuichi was starting to get ues to Ryuichi being serious. Shuichi put on his best fake smile and said "Yeah. Im just glad your here to help the wounds heal." Ryuichi jumped from behind the couch and held Shuichi wich seem like he was holding him for a life time. "Shuichi im so sorry." All Shuichi could do was be held and cry the pain out.

Kitasawa loved Eari as his littel brother. Eari loved Kitasawa like a lover. They both loved eachother on differnt leves. well one day Kitasawa got an un wonted visiter. His Twin brother Nakosawa. "Well hello Kitasawa. long time no see?" Nakosawa just pushed his brother aside and floped on the couch. "What the hell are you doing here you sorry pice of shit?" Nakosawa leaped right up to Kitasawa and grabed him "You know even when we were young you never could run fast enofe to get away." Nakosawa started to undress Kitasawa. Kitasawa was not that strong and thought "Oh! he's just ganna have 'FUN' amd then leave for another 2 years." Kitasawa was wrong.

One week has gone by and the night of the big gig was about to start. As Shuichi was geting ready he saw Tohma waveing him over. Shuichi did'et think anything of it so he went over to see what was up. "Shindo-san. are you all right to go on stage?" Shuichi smiled and said "Yeah. As long as Yuki's happy Im fine." Shuichi smiled and Tohma could see Shuichi was breaking in side. "Well do your best Shindo-san." Shuichi gave a fake smile and ran off to get on stag.

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As Shuichi got on stage he noticed that in the way back was a man with bloned hair and gold eyes.

"Yuki?"

_With a terrified look in the eyes, spit those irritated feelings into the fickle wind_

_The signal that melted into the cracked roadway is leaving only a scar behind._

"Yuki? why are you here?"

_Before the drowsy noise blurs away tomorrow,_

_chase after those ambitiously resounding footsteps._

Shuichi was singing great and then he noticed the man next to Yuki. "Who is that man next to 'MY' Yuki?"

_That unfulfillable emotion that never settles down somewhere--_

_just decide to ignore it, then overtake it._

_Aim for the loophole in this shy, trembling society,_

_for the place we keep struggling towards. I want new world._

Shuichi then remmaberd the pictcher that Yuki gave him a long time ago. Then he relized what Ryuichi meant when he said 'You do know it may be the end of this road but you have many more to go.'

_If you bare your claws at your swarming anxieties, you'll be snapped back by unfamiliar lies,_

_and the unbearable times will adorn the rust-covered roads with agitation._

Shuichi kept singing but not with out Ryuichi seeing his sadness.

_Stuff your bag with nothing but velvet coins._

_We don't need a map of the maze-like dreams._

_From the tidal-wave's pounding rhythm_

_to the glittering silver passion, it's all just temptation's strategic pull._

_Your fragile eyes beat on the door we can go through_

_as we still keep on searching. You just a new world_

_I can still hear the accumulated tears carving their paths into Main Street,_

_warping the sound of those footsteps._

_That unfulfillable emotion that never settles down somewhere--_

_just decide to ignore it, then overtake it._

_Aim for the loophole in this shy, trembling society,_

_for the place we keep struggling towards. I want new world._

When the song finaly end SHuichi ran off stage and out of the whole stateum.

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So what now? I think im giveing people worked up and im happy well comment and tell me what you all think

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	4. Chapter 4 New and old life

**Notes:**

**Yes, yes i know you are all pretty mad huh? well just wait and see what happens. you'll all love me sooner or later (i hope really badly) well anyways this chapter is well not for sure because i just write whats in my head and never take a secont guess. Thats just how i am some times smiles well comment and ill take your ideas in to mined and they might end up in the story.**

**Chapter 5**

**When will it all end?**

**Shuichi woke to find him self in an unfamiler room. _"what...OH! thats right Ryuichi took me home and..."_ Shuichi's whole body shiverd at the thought that he and his idol did... Shuichi looked to his right and sure enof there was the man that he envyed and worshiped as a god Ryuichi Sakuma. _"OH MY GOD!!!!! Ryuichi and i...we...us..." _Shuichi was so lost that he did'et hear or see Ryuichi Lean over and hug him. "Shu-chan are you ok?" Shuichi just frozed and said "Ummm...Yes." Ryuichi smiled and said in a sweet voice even Tohma had not heard "Good. Im glad you are not sad any more Shu-chan." Ryuichi got up and headed to the bath romm. he turned and said "If you'd like you can join me Shu-chan." Shuichi declined that ofer and said "Thank Ryu-chan but im ganna sit here and relax ok?" Ryuichi just smiled and went to take his shower. As soon as Shuichi heard the radio and shower go on he cruled up in a ball and started to cry._ "Yuki...Im sorry...Im so so sorry Yuki."_**

_**-----**_

**Kitasawa wached the man who was once a boy that had such inaseance. _"Eari you have become a fine man. Why did you come back to me? You had a life with someone who loved you with no quistens asked. So why come back with me to New York?" _Kitasawa and Yuki did'et do anything but hold eachother all night and now Kitasawa wished he made Eari go after the singer. Yuki woke a little and said "Godd morning Kitasawa." Kitasawa just smiled and was so happy to hear the man's voice once agian. "You reallt have not changed Eari. May i ask why you have come back to me whan Shindo-san is a much better..." Yuki coverd Kitasawa'a mouth and said "I do love Shuichi its just...He could never replace you and you were always defeating him in my eyes because i loved you more then any one in my life. Even Shuichi." Kitasawa was shocked but not totaly suprized. "Eari." Kitasawa huged the man he once knew as a chiled and was was happy to be reuknigted with him but he could not have him as Eari wished it. _"I cant have Eari and Shuichi hurting because Eari is still stuck in the pass. Eari im sorry but this will end. not yet tho."_ Kitasawa held Yuki for ever it seemed because he knew that this would never last the test of time.**

**-----**

**Tohma who was haveing a hard time trying to figer a way to make Shuichi happy but not hurt Yuki or Shuichi. _"GIRRRRR!!!!! i cant think or a good way to help them all. it ues to be Eari and Shindo but now with the return of Kitasawa there's no telling what the out come could be." _As Tohma was about to pull hair out of his bleached head Ryuichi and Kitasawa both walked in and both said "Eari and Shuichi have to be togather." Tohma was a little suprized that both of them wonted such a thing. He knew Kitasawa was in love with Eari and the same went for Ryuichi but he also knew that they knew that they could never hold the gravity of love that the two men have for each other. "So how do you prupoes we do jentalimen?" Ryuichi and Kiytasawa smiled and knew what to do and Tohma had a pretty good idea but not One hundred percent sure.**

**-----**

**Ryuichi returned to the house and Shuichi was waching tv. "OH! sorry if im geting to cunfy Ryu-chan." Ryuichi just sat neaxt to him and huged him tightly "Shuichi you know i do and have loved you for a while right?" Shuichi was so stund by the random comment that all he could do was sit there and nodd his head. Ryuichi turnd the tv off and got on top of Shuichi. Shuichi was happy that Ryuichi loved him but at the time all he could think about was Yuki. _"Yuki. Pleas tell me why did you leave me in this cold and un careing world?" _Ryuichi was so gentel while undressing Shuichi. That Shuichi thought _"Ryuichi is so much kinder then Yuki. why would i wont someone who was so rougf." _In the back of his mind he heard a faint voice saying "_ecause it was Yuki and you liked it rougf." _Shuichi stoped Ryuichi and said "Ryu-chan do you mind if i take a walk?" Ryuichi smiled and said "Sure go take a walk and when you get back dinner will be ready" Shuichi was happy that Ryuichi was not mad at him. As shuichi left to take his walk Ryuichi smiled and said "Its all going to plan"**

**-----**

**So what are you ganna say now to hurt me? well i loved this chapter personely. but its all about what you all think so tell me and ill make it a habbit to give the people what they wont.**


	5. Chapter 5 The plan has begone

**Notes:**

**Yes, yes i know you are all pretty mad huh? well just wait and see what happens. you'll all love me sooner or later (i hope really badly) well anyways this chapter is well not for sure because i just write whats in my head and never take a secont guess. Thats just how i am some times smiles well comment and ill take your ideas in to mined and they might end up in the story.**

**Chapter 5**

**When will it all end?**

**Shuichi woke to find him self in an unfamiler room. _"what...OH! thats right Ryuichi took me home and..."_ Shuichi's whole body shiverd at the thought that he and his idol did... Shuichi looked to his right and sure enof there was the man that he envyed and worshiped as a god Ryuichi Sakuma. _"OH MY GOD!!!!! Ryuichi and i...we...us..." _Shuichi was so lost that he did'et hear or see Ryuichi Lean over and hug him. "Shu-chan are you ok?" Shuichi just frozed and said "Ummm...Yes." Ryuichi smiled and said in a sweet voice even Tohma had not heard "Good. Im glad you are not sad any more Shu-chan." Ryuichi got up and headed to the bath romm. he turned and said "If you'd like you can join me Shu-chan." Shuichi declined that ofer and said "Thank Ryu-chan but im ganna sit here and relax ok?" Ryuichi just smiled and went to take his shower. As soon as Shuichi heard the radio and shower go on he cruled up in a ball and started to cry._ "Yuki...Im sorry...Im so so sorry Yuki."_**

_**-----**_

**Kitasawa wached the man who was once a boy that had such inaseance. _"Eari you have become a fine man. Why did you come back to me? You had a life with someone who loved you with no quistens asked. So why come back with me to New York?" _Kitasawa and Yuki did'et do anything but hold eachother all night and now Kitasawa wished he made Eari go after the singer. Yuki woke a little and said "Godd morning Kitasawa." Kitasawa just smiled and was so happy to hear the man's voice once agian. "You reallt have not changed Eari. May i ask why you have come back to me whan Shindo-san is a much better..." Yuki coverd Kitasawa'a mouth and said "I do love Shuichi its just...He could never replace you and you were always defeating him in my eyes because i loved you more then any one in my life. Even Shuichi." Kitasawa was shocked but not totaly suprized. "Eari." Kitasawa huged the man he once knew as a chiled and was was happy to be reuknigted with him but he could not have him as Eari wished it. _"I cant have Eari and Shuichi hurting because Eari is still stuck in the pass. Eari im sorry but this will end. not yet tho."_ Kitasawa held Yuki for ever it seemed because he knew that this would never last the test of time.**

**-----**

**Tohma who was haveing a hard time trying to figer a way to make Shuichi happy but not hurt Yuki or Shuichi. _"GIRRRRR!!!!! i cant think or a good way to help them all. it ues to be Eari and Shindo but now with the return of Kitasawa there's no telling what the out come could be." _As Tohma was about to pull hair out of his bleached head Ryuichi and Kitasawa both walked in and both said "Eari and Shuichi have to be togather." Tohma was a little suprized that both of them wonted such a thing. He knew Kitasawa was in love with Eari and the same went for Ryuichi but he also knew that they knew that they could never hold the gravity of love that the two men have for each other. "So how do you prupoes we do jentalimen?" Ryuichi and Kiytasawa smiled and knew what to do and Tohma had a pretty good idea but not One hundred percent sure.**

**-----**

**Ryuichi returned to the house and Shuichi was waching tv. "OH! sorry if im geting to cunfy Ryu-chan." Ryuichi just sat neaxt to him and huged him tightly "Shuichi you know i do and have loved you for a while right?" Shuichi was so stund by the random comment that all he could do was sit there and nodd his head. Ryuichi turnd the tv off and got on top of Shuichi. Shuichi was happy that Ryuichi loved him but at the time all he could think about was Yuki. _"Yuki. Pleas tell me why did you leave me in this cold and un careing world?" _Ryuichi was so gentel while undressing Shuichi. That Shuichi thought _"Ryuichi is so much kinder then Yuki. why would i wont someone who was so rougf." _In the back of his mind he heard a faint voice saying "_ecause it was Yuki and you liked it rougf." _Shuichi stoped Ryuichi and said "Ryu-chan do you mind if i take a walk?" Ryuichi smiled and said "Sure go take a walk and when you get back dinner will be ready" Shuichi was happy that Ryuichi was not mad at him. As shuichi left to take his walk Ryuichi smiled and said "Its all going to plan"**

**-----**

**So what are you ganna say now to hurt me? well i loved this chapter personely. but its all about what you all think so tell me and ill make it a habbit to give the people what they wont.**


End file.
